<\/p>\n
I didn\u2019t have any destination in mind, but I found myself heading down toward Rock Creek, vaguely thinking I might head toward the gardens at Dumbarton Oaks.\u00a0 I hadn\u2019t been there since spring had finally arrived for good. \u00a0It was a long hike from my place, but I could do with a little beauty, a good dose of nature.\u00a0 I realized I\u2019d done nothing but sit and write and hibernate for weeks.\u00a0 Months.<\/p>\n I wove my way through the quiet streets \u2013 half the current Cabinet members lived in this ritzy neighborhood – to where the trail cut down into the park.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t the only one out on such a beautiful day.\u00a0 There were a lot of people on the main path that ran along the creek bed, joggers and walkers, going both directions.\u00a0 I made my way, impatiently but politely, around a gray-haired couple as they ambled leisurely along, holding hands.\u00a0 Just the kind of couple Bob and I used to joke that we\u2019d be some day.<\/p>\n For the first time, the memory of Bob brought a smile instead of pain.\u00a0 I let myself have that little gift.<\/p>\n And as I did, I felt my attention wander farther away from my ugly work world: I began to just breathe in the dancing leaves overhead, let the soft dirt beneath my feet replace the deluge of filth that had threatened to drown me.\u00a0 I felt my muscles stretching to life, and had the odd sensation of walking in someone else\u2019s body.\u00a0 It was my own, of course, but I saw it, all at once, as if viewing a stranger: this crusading quasi-journalist, this solitary, introverted widow-woman, afraid of anything that might open contact with the world around her, including friendship, including her unwanted wealth, including anything or anyone outside her own skin.<\/p>\n Who would want to live that life?<\/p>\n I didn\u2019t.<\/em><\/p>\n The insight was so sudden, so strong, I found I\u2019d stopped dead in my tracks, and heard my own voice exclaim out loud, \u201chuh!\u201d<\/p>\n But it was the question that slipped in on the heels of that lightning bolt that kept me there for a moment more: Well then, now what?<\/i><\/p>\n And there I was, still standing, dumbfounded, when I heard footsteps coming up behind me.\u00a0 Reflexively, I stepped aside to let the runner pass me.\u00a0 It was a good-looking guy.\u00a0 Nice muscles, which his sleeveless shirt showed off to good advantage.\u00a0 I realized I hadn\u2019t been noticing stuff like that, and yet I noticed I was noticing now.<\/p>\n He looked over and smiled at me as he passed.\u00a0 Surprising myself, I smiled back.<\/p>\n He went on a few steps, then slowed, turned and jogged back toward me.\u00a0 Whoa.\u00a0 What was this?<\/p>\n \u201cSay,\u201d he said, dark eyes, dark hair, maybe late-twenties, sleek with sweat and handsome as hell.\u00a0 \u201cAren\u2019t you\u2026 aren\u2019t you that blogger?\u00a0 Hanalie, right?\u201d\u00a0 He pronounced it, like a lot of people did, \u201cHannah-lee\u201d, with a flat Midwestern \u201ca\u201d.<\/p>\n This hunk knew who I was?\u00a0 Even though my photo was on my blog, I was always surprised when anyone recognized me.\u00a0 I had so little interaction with people these days, and I was suddenly aware I\u2019d really lost my social skills.\u00a0 I was flattered, and more than a little flustered.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, yes, that\u2019s me,\u201d I said, dredging up from memory the kind of smile I hadn\u2019t had occasion for in a very long time.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah.\u00a0 Yeah, I thought so.\u201d\u00a0 He stood there in front of me, hands on hips, bouncing from foot to foot, grinning like the boy next door, if the boy next door had a perfect body and the best teeth money could buy.<\/p>\n Then he said, in the same upbeat conversational tone, \u201cYou know, you ought to be careful.\u00a0 Girls go missing in the woods out here.\u00a0 Girls who didn\u2019t even write the kind of crap you did last night.\u201d\u00a0 He flexed his left arm across his chest, then the right, kind of shook his muscles loose, jogging in place, flashing that toothpaste smile again.\u00a0 Except that now I saw how the cold from his eyes totally cancelled out its warmth.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, you enjoy your walk.\u00a0 I just wouldn\u2019t\u2026 go too far, if I were you.\u00a0\u00a0 You go too far, Hanalie, and not even your pretty little ass is going to save you.\u00a0 No more warnings.\u201d<\/p>\n I never saw anyone manage to look both admiring and purely evil at the same time.<\/p>\n He turned to go, with one last grin that punctuated the sentence with the force of a gunshot. \u201cTake care now\u2026 maybe we\u2019ll meet again.\u201d<\/p>\n He took off, doubling back the way he\u2019d come.<\/p>\n Me, I just stood there, braced against a tree, mouth open, pole-axed and paralyzed.<\/p>\n A couple of other joggers came pounding toward me.\u00a0 I was suddenly, insanely, paranoid.\u00a0 I bent over, hiding my face, pretending I was catching my breath.\u00a0 I realized there was a trail just in front of me, a side trail.\u00a0 I thought I remembered it cut up through the trees and came out close to the Islamic Center.\u00a0 Was it stupid to abandon the safety of numbers?\u00a0 I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 I just felt like I had to get away from the scene of the crime, the threatened crime that had abruptly hijacked my future.\u00a0 All the more disturbing, the way it had been wrapped in such a deceptively attractive package.<\/p>\n My earlier epiphany, major as it was, had completely evaporated.\u00a0 Now, as I pushed up the slope, I was shaking and stumbling my way along, terrified of who might be coming after me, and all the while cursing Lester Worsham under my breath.\u00a0 Of course the hot dude was Worsham\u2019s errand boy\u2026who else?\u00a0 Had I been really stupid enough to publish that article?\u00a0 What was I thinking?\u00a0 I had to get out of here, out of town.\u00a0 I was focused on that as I lurched uphill, already mentally packing my getaway bags.\u00a0 Already on my way to the airport, already\u2026<\/p>\n \u2026shit!\u00a0 I suddenly ran smack into someone, hard enough to knock the breath out of me, and probably him, too.\u00a0 But\u2026there was no one there, I swear.\u00a0 I\u2019d been looking straight ahead the whole time, almost hyper-aware in my fear-propelled state.\u00a0 We were standing in the middle of a natural clearing, no way in hell I could have missed seeing him.<\/p>\n Was I having a stroke?\u00a0 I saw these bright, shimmering columns of light, just behind this \u2026 this man, who seemed to be steadying me with strong hands on my shoulders, as I struggled to catch my breath.<\/p>\n And then\u2026there were two other people standing behind him.\u00a0 But there hadn\u2019t been anyone there.\u00a0 Just those\u2026lights.<\/p>\n I felt oddly stabilized, and realized we were actually holding on to each other.\u00a0 He was looking at me with some concern.\u00a0 He asked if I was all right, in a voice saturated with some Southern roots.<\/p>\n There were three of them.\u00a0 Two men and a woman.\u00a0 All nice looking.\u00a0 All three dressed in casual clothes that were just a bit\u2026 off, somehow.\u00a0 Dated, maybe; costume-y.<\/p>\n But what about those lights?\u00a0 It was like there were lights, and then there were people.\u00a0 God, I must be losing my damned mind.<\/p>\n The man in front of me asked me again if I was okay.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think I got a response out.\u00a0 He did look genuinely concerned.\u00a0 He was dark haired, my age or a little older.\u00a0 And he had blue eyes that struck me, even in my confusion, as\u2026 kind.\u00a0\u00a0 I guess it was those eyes that kept me standing there, instead of fleeing.\u00a0 Or maybe I was just still stunned, like when some unexpected noise wakes you in the middle of the night, and it takes a few moments to get your bearings.<\/p>\n Looking past blue-eyes, I saw that the other man had a more athletic build, was handsome in that way that kind of oozes maleness.\u00a0 The woman was beautiful, black, and smiling at me.<\/p>\n I hadn\u2019t had this much human interaction in months.\u00a0 All of a sudden handsome joggers were coming out of the woodwork to threaten my life.\u00a0 Now people were \u2013 I swear to God – materializing out of the trees.\u00a0 Some freak reflection off a windshield from the road above, some optical illusion, I told myself; there had to be some logical explanation.<\/p>\n There had to be something logical for me to hang onto.<\/p>\n As it was, I was still hanging on to Blue-eyes, so hard he\u2019d probably have bruises on his arms to show for it.<\/p>\n Gathering my wits enough to feel embarrassed about that, I somehow loosened my grip on his sinewy biceps, rubbed my unbelieving eyes and staggered a bit on my wobbly legs.<\/p>\n Other than the fact that I don\u2019t think I was physically capable at the moment, the question of why I didn\u2019t run, then, intrigues me to this day.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n < previous\u00a0<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 next ><\/a><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" < previous\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 next > \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 As I recall, it was a perfect day, late spring.\u00a0 The beautiful weather felt like the final irony.\u00a0 But once I left the hectic traffic of Connecticut Avenue and got … Continue reading ![\"path](\"https:\/\/hanilives.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/IMG_8150-150x228.jpg\")
<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 As I recall, it was a perfect day, late spring.\u00a0 The beautiful weather felt like the final irony.\u00a0 But once I left the hectic traffic of Connecticut Avenue and got into the quieter neighborhood to the west, I started feeling better with every step, felt that slimy on-line world recede behind me; like maybe it was possible after all to just\u2026 walk it off.<\/p>\n