<\/p>\n
I sure as hell didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n While he was still alive, Bob\u2019s money had been a gift.\u00a0 Now that I was left to oversee all those millions alone, it felt like an unbearable, even obscene, burden.\u00a0 I don\u2019t mean to sound unappreciative, but I\u2019d spent my adult life in social services, working with people who had nothing.\u00a0 The idea of making a full-time career out of turning 300 million into 400 was incomprehensible to me.<\/p>\n I hadn\u2019t given enough thought to it, I knew, but I\u2019d spent that excruciatingly long day trying over and over to explain to the suits that I wanted to give most of the money away.\u00a0 Not all of it, I wasn\u2019t an idiot, but I figured I could live very nicely the rest of my life on a fraction of what I had now, and not have to devote every waking moment to staring at my own pile of pennies.<\/p>\n Without telling any of my financial gurus, I wrote out a generous check \u2013 a very generous check \u2013 to my spiritual teacher.\u00a0 I was feeling pretty good about that.\u00a0 I even got a call from the office, asking if I could meet with him, a private meeting, which was a rare thing.<\/p>\n Yessiree, I was feeling very proud of myself for this act of selfless giving.<\/p>\n I went to that meeting.\u00a0 My teacher came in and very lovingly handed me my check back, neatly torn in two.\u00a0 I just stared at it.\u00a0 What had I done wrong?<\/p>\n He must have read the look on my face.\u00a0 He invited me to sit, and sat beside me.<\/p>\n \u201cI know this was given out of good intention,\u201d he said, \u201cBut this isn\u2019t the answer.\u00a0 For one thing, what do you expect me to do with so much money?\u00a0 Buy a house, or a private jet?\u00a0\u00a0 Build some fancy worship center?\u00a0 What do those things have to do with spirit?\u00a0 The times when you were poor and wanted to give a few bucks to help someone out, that was given from a purer place, as I think you know.\u201d<\/p>\n I was feeling pretty intense, hearing this loving truth pointed out.\u00a0 He went on, with a gentle smile, his voice sweet but sure.\u00a0 \u201cBesides, Hanalie, this money, this fortune, is still your karma to deal with.\u00a0 Maybe you will give it all away, maybe you\u2019ll just walk away from it.\u00a0 Maybe you\u2019ll decide to go through it like it\u2019s water.\u00a0 Whatever actions you take, though, need to come from what your Soul is telling you, not from the emotional impulse to just escape from the responsibility of it.<\/p>\n \u201cThere\u2019s a deeper honesty you haven\u2019t touched yet.\u201d\u00a0 He went on,\u00a0 \u201cBut you will.\u00a0 You are on such a journey, dear one.\u00a0 You haven\u2019t begun to understand just how big your journey is, how far it\u2019s going to take you.\u00a0 Go home and live your life.\u00a0 Be open, and you\u2019ll find your right way.\u00a0 It\u2019s right there inside you.\u00a0 All you need of me is right inside you.\u00a0 It\u2019s been there all along; you just haven\u2019t realized it yet.\u201d<\/p>\n I went home.\u00a0 I had a lot of processing to do, not the least of which involved the sheer intensity of sitting in the presence of someone whose enlightenment shone so freely, so effortlessly.\u00a0\u00a0 As so often happens when one is stumbling in the direction of such enlightenment, I hadn\u2019t gotten anything like the advice I expected, or wanted.\u00a0 What I wanted was fixing, I wanted it bad, and I wanted it now<\/i>.<\/p>\n I thought again about those ten bulls, that epic battle of facing my own mind.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want to chase the bull, I didn\u2019t want to catch the bull.\u00a0 I sure didn\u2019t want to put in the tedious and difficult work of taming the damned bull.<\/p>\n I wanted someone to serve me up the bull on a platter, medium rare, with a baked potato on the side.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n < previous\u00a0<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 next ><\/a><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" < previous\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 next > Does anyone grow up wishing that someday they\u2019ll get to spend eight hours straight in a conference room talking to lawyers and accountants? I sure as hell didn\u2019t. While he was … Continue reading ![\"photo\"](\"https:\/\/hanilives.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/photo11-e1361241832314-150x200.jpg\")
<\/a>Does anyone grow up wishing that someday they\u2019ll get to spend eight hours straight in a conference room talking to lawyers and accountants?<\/p>\n